Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The desperate times

I would tell myself that if I had time to plan, maybe I would have been better prepared (financially) for my cancer diagnosis.   The journey through cancer can lead to so many desperate actions and decisions because you're in survival mode on every level and everything after a cancer diagnosis is urgent.   One of my many desperate moments that come to mind is when my house was in foreclosure.  Americas Extreme Home Makeover was coming to Chicago and the kids and I were so excited because with what we'd seen on the show, we knew that we could be chosen....mother of 5 children (girls), newly diagnosed with colon cancer, can't work, can't make repairs on a house that is falling apart; we fit the profile!  Desperate, the girls and I stood in line with hundreds of other families waiting to tell their stories to the producers. My daughters wrote compelling stories about my battle with cancer and our struggles to keep it together. They poured their hearts out on paper;they said things I didn't know they felt and made me feel proud to be their mom.  We finally had our chance with the producer who asked if we had a tape of our story and we didn't, although it wasn't required at the time, it would have been helpful.  They read our story, took our picture and said if we're chosen we would here from them.  Time went by and to make a long story short, they didn't pick us.  I exhausted my savings and money from my pension and we still lost our house.  I was desperate to keep my house, I was desperate to keep my family together and some type of normalcy for my family. It took a while for me to stop blaming myself for having cancer, after all, it wasn't like it was passed on like a cold or I touched someone who hadn't washed their hands, I had no control over what would become of my young life. I shared this because I know there are others going through financially desperate situations that are beyond your control. Please know that life is full of desperate situations, bad decisions, loss of income or unforeseen health crisis but, regardless of how your desperate situation was caused, just know that it doesn't last always, it gets better no matter how it turns out and you have to let go and let God!   Be Blessed!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Structural Damage

Three weeks ago, I was involved in a car accident that had the potential to have seriously injured us both.  I, being the passenger was in a position of no control and all the power was in the hands of the driver.   As we slid and twisted and turned and I watched how my friend navigated to the best of her ability a situation that was beyond her control.  The car finally came to rest hitting a steel beam on the bridge and we walked away with no scratches, bumps or bruises and if you saw the car, you'd question why it wasn't...God was in control.  Of course we were sore afterwards but, that was to be expected and the car obviously has body damage and is being inspected for structural damage.

We are all passengers in this life, therefore, things in life will happen beyond your control and no matter how well disciplined or well trained you are in your finances, in living, in working, in health or in relationships, life happens beyond your control and it can leave us with structural damage.  Structural damage is described as:  damage to any part of the main structure or any component that is designed to provide structural integrity.

Structural damage in the human sense is loss of spirit, loss of faith, loss of mental capacity, hardened heart, a broken body and soul, with the main structure being our faith.  We must remember to stay prayerful in the worst of circumstances and know that God is in control and he is the only one that can repair human structural damage.  When life is beyond your control, remember, God is in control, rest in him and know that he will fix any and all structural damage done in your life.  Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble".

I pray this are not alone!