The desperate times

I would tell myself that if I had time to plan, maybe I would have been better prepared (financially) for my cancer diagnosis.   The journey through cancer can lead to so many desperate actions and decisions because you're in survival mode on every level and everything after a cancer diagnosis is urgent.   One of my many desperate moments that come to mind is when my house was in foreclosure.  Americas Extreme Home Makeover was coming to Chicago and the kids and I were so excited because with what we'd seen on the show, we knew that we could be chosen....mother of 5 children (girls), newly diagnosed with colon cancer, can't work, can't make repairs on a house that is falling apart; we fit the profile!  Desperate, the girls and I stood in line with hundreds of other families waiting to tell their stories to the producers. My daughters wrote compelling stories about my battle with cancer and our struggles to keep it together. They poured their hearts out on paper;they said things I didn't know they felt and made me feel proud to be their mom.  We finally had our chance with the producer who asked if we had a tape of our story and we didn't, although it wasn't required at the time, it would have been helpful.  They read our story, took our picture and said if we're chosen we would here from them.  Time went by and to make a long story short, they didn't pick us.  I exhausted my savings and money from my pension and we still lost our house.  I was desperate to keep my house, I was desperate to keep my family together and some type of normalcy for my family. It took a while for me to stop blaming myself for having cancer, after all, it wasn't like it was passed on like a cold or I touched someone who hadn't washed their hands, I had no control over what would become of my young life. I shared this because I know there are others going through financially desperate situations that are beyond your control. Please know that life is full of desperate situations, bad decisions, loss of income or unforeseen health crisis but, regardless of how your desperate situation was caused, just know that it doesn't last always, it gets better no matter how it turns out and you have to let go and let God!   Be Blessed!