Friday, May 9, 2014

The Road To Motherhood - Happy Mother's Day

Every mother has a story about their road to motherhood.  Some knew early on that they wanted to be a mother and planned out every detail for when that time came. Some had plans of someday becoming a mother with no set date and some of us had no plans on being a mother at all.  You can plan your life out but, as some of us know, God has a sense of humor.  I became a mother at 19 yrs old of a beautiful baby girl with big beautiful almond shaped big eyes.  The labor was intensive as I have never in my life felt that much pain and pressure that no matter how hard someone tries, they can never describe that feeling accurately enough because we are all different.

I had another beautiful baby girl just shy of two years later and I was done, so I thought.  Years went by and I met my husband and we decided to have children together and had a beautiful set of twin girls and we were done but, as I said God had a sense of humor and sent us his last precious gift to us by surprise and it was another beautiful baby girl and all of them have the most beautiful set of eyes I have ever seen; bright smiling eyes that greet you with love and happiness like they haven't seen in years even though they saw you hours ago.

Being a mother has brought me great joy, more than I have ever anticipated.  I thought, "who am I to do this and how in the hell can I raise them and raise them well"?  The journey was not easy, I had bumps and bruises but, I was determined when I had my first child that I was not going to be a statistic..young black female on welfare with no education working at McDonald's and being satisfied with that.  I have always been a competitor by nature and being on the swim team and track team kept me with a competitive spirit, so I made my life a competitive sport to be better, never give up and I would try to find ways around whatever obstacle I was up against.

I had tons of total epic failures but, I kept trying. As my life went on and the girls grew older, I started to realize that being a mother was by far the best job I ever had and by far the hardest!! But, I got to be silly and sing off key and they still loved me! One of the memories that stands out of the older two girls is us singing in the car "How Can I Ease The Pain" by Lisa Fisher...OMG!  They would get near the end of the song where she hits a high note to heaven and they would howl right along with her and I encouraged it every time....LOL.  They still sing that song till this day.

I was blessed to add three additional girls to my family, Anitra, Lyndsey and Vanessa my daughters from another mother.

My being diagnosed with cancer was the worst time as a mother; the thought of me leaving my children was excruciating and I thought I would never be here to see the important milestones in their lives.  But, I'm here.  Now, I am a "glam-mother" of two lovely "glam-children" Matthew and Emily yes I said (GLAM...for Glamorous)!  Remember when I said God has a sense of humor in the very beginning well, He does. He gave my-my "glam-daughter" Emily who is a piece of work!!

In March, my second oldest went to Afghanistan to secure our country's freedom along with other brave mothers and fathers.  Last year, I was diagnosed with two tumors on my liver and I refused to do chemo or radiation and was pushing for alternative therapies which I have been on.  I also have fibromyalgia ( a gift from cancer) which on a bad day keeps me in pain for days and pain management can be tricky.  Since having the now 7-month-old and the 7-year-old to take care of and run here and there to school and daycare, I have not had time to focus on my ailments and I am actually feeling better with the exception of being sleep deprived of the early morning conversations and screams for a bottle in the middle of the night.

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world, there may be moments when you want to give up, or feel like a failure but, know this...this job had no particular job description or needing a particular skill other than love and being your true self.

So, no matter how you became a mother, please know that your job is invaluable. When they get older they will say "I love you mom, and am glad that God blessed me with such a caring mother. You went above and beyond the call of duty many times."

I leave you with this  "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." -- Washington Irving

Happy Mother's Day!

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